From our home office in Chavez Ravine

10. Barry Bonds was seen sucking the sweat off of Manny's used do-rags

9. Cut off a throw from the ball girl to a kid in the first row

8. Decided that Manny being Manny just wasn't good enough

7. His dealer complained that Manny showed up 6 days late to pick up his order

6. Brian McNamee has some of his DNA

5. Dropped his needle in the wastebasket and stood there looking at it for 30 seconds before jogging away

4. Dodger GM Ned Colletti said "That's just Manny being A-Rod"

3. He said that he "doesn't want to talk about the past."

2. Thought about playing in Japan so other players would stop laughing at the size of his penis

1. He was suspended for 50 games by MLB.