tBBC’s Buckeye Resolutions, 2014

Written January 1st, 2014 by MaliBuckeye

Amidst all of the revelry from last night (hoops win, amazing bowl game, good news from All American practices, traditional end of year festivities), we asked the staff to come up with some resolutions that members of the Ohio State football and basketball programs should adapt for 2014. Just for giggles, we’ve added a “wild card” where people could either make another “suggestion” or publicly announce one of their own.

Let’s see what they came up with:

Legend In The Making

Buckeye Football

  • I, Curtis Grant, do hereby resolve to live up to the reputation that preceded my arrival at THE Ohio State University. I will step into the limelight and make sure people don’t miss Ryan Shazier next season.
  • “I, Urban Meyer, do hereby resolve to maintain a healthy perspective and work-life balance in order to keep from getting burned out while starting a new winning streak.”
  • “I, Luke Fickell, do hereby resolve to spend the off-season getting my head out of my tuchas and learning how to coach defense”.
  • “I, Bryce Haynes, do hereby resolve to become the first longsnapper to win the Heisman trophy, even though I’ll have less than three snaps on punts the entire 2014 season.”
  • “I, Braxton Miller, do hereby resolve to spend the off-season learning how to actually ‘read’ the zone-read play for 2014″.
  • “I, Joey Bosa, do hereby resolve to build on my freshman season and spend the off-season becoming the best defensive tackle in college football.”
  • “We, the running backs remaining at The Ohio State University, resolve to spend this spring and summer training and working as hard as possible and then even harder to replace Carlos Hyde and ensure the position is a massive strength and loaded with depth in 2014″.

Buckeye Version Of NYE Ball Drop

Buckeye Hoops

  • I, Sam “Slam I Am” Thompson, do hereby resolve to provide a highlight dunk for every single game for the rest of the season so that the fans aren’t completely disappointed with the few losses we will have.
  • “I, Jeff Boals, do hereby resolve to continue recruiting talent like a boss. I will always be a favorite to recruits looking to find a home and be Thad Matta’s right hand man until he retires after the 2019 season. I will then take over the Ohio State program.”
  • “I, Amir Williams, do hereby resolve to score at least 10 points or grab 10 rebounds each game the rest of the season.”
  • “I, Shannon Scott, do hereby resolve to improve my free-throw shooting so my chances of making a FT are somewhat above a coin-flip.”
  • “During the 2014 Calendar Year, I, Aaron Craft, will finally solve a Rubic’s Cube so fast that it shifts the space-time continuum, going back into the past and gaining another 5 years of eligibility as a Buckeye.”
  • “We, the Ohio State basketball team, do hereby resolve to make waste of mid-majors in the NCAA tournament and not repeat embarrassments like losing to Wichita State.”
  • “I, Kevin McGuff, do hereby resolve to own the state of Ohio in recruiting and to develop my recruits into a team that will make the Final Four in a couple years.”
And The Rest…?
  • I, WVaBuckeye, do hereby resolve to be more cordial to those I do not know. Friendlier to strangers and understanding that they may just be having a bad day or may be Cleveland Browns fans.
  • “I, Scott aka Uncle Scooter, do hereby resolve to never root for Michigan again even if it’s good for the B1G. Because Michigan still sucks.”
  • “I, MaliBuckeye, will finally get off my kiester and begin working toward my PhD. Oh, and I wanna’ train for one of those obstacle course race things. Or eat a doughnut the size of my head. Either way.”
  • “I, Ken, do hereby resolve to be more patient with people. Life is too short.”
  •  “I, Jason aka Script Ohio, do hereby resolve to listen to more Trivium and see Ghost as many times as possible this spring/summer.”
  • “I, Joe Dexter, do hereby resolve to write more in 2014 and accomplish things in the writing realm that I’ve always dreamed of attempting.”
  • “I, Gene Smith, do hereby resolve to stop making stupid decisions and to stop trying to ruin that atmosphere of Ohio State sports by only chasing money.”

Huh… wonder how that last one got in there…

1 Comment

  1. KenNo Gravatar
    January 1st, 2014 at 2:12 pm

    “Huh… wonder how that last one got in there…”

    A ringer on our staff, I bet.

    And, Calvin & Hobbs FTW!


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