The Week That Were: 9.26.09

Written September 28th, 2009 by MaliBuckeye

Finishing what Jeff started, as we do every week.

Here’s this week’s soundtrack/music to piss off the people in the cubicle next to you.

Every season, there’s one or two weeks that just screw up everything. From the Vegas lines, to the “pundit’s choices”, to alumni plans for Bowl Game Tailgating, and even the coaching hot seats get impacted by what actually manifests on the fields of play.

Welcome to that week. Be it the weather, the injuries, the flu, whatever- some astounding and amazing stuff happened over the past few days.

The top teams all continue to cruise along, with the exception of Florida who lost their Heisman Trophy fullback that throws the ball to one of the poorest pieces of blocking I’ve ever seen:

Up 31-7 late in the third quarter, you have to wonder why Tebow (who also suffered with the flu all week) was even in the game. Sure, the Gators won, but at what cost? At least they’re not Baylor, who lost their all-amazing QB to injury on Saturday.

Alabama and Texas rolled, so there’s really nothing to talk about there. But number 4 Mississippi either completely spit the bit against the Old Ball Coach (emphasis on “old”, as in “formerly good”), or revealed that their ranking was based on the smoke and mirrors of a bowl win against a not very good TTU team.

Then, number 5 State Penn went down against Iowa for the second straight year. This time, at home in a game characterized by sloppy fourth quarter play:

Your friends may have high-fived you, but your mother is pretty embarrassed right about now

Your friends may have high-fived you, but your mother is pretty embarrassed right about now

The six possessions that PSU had in the second half included 4 turnovers, a blocked punt, and a blown field goal. What did we learn in unHappy Valley? Either 1) Scheduling cupcakes may not be a healthy diet, 2) The Hawkeyes have got the Lions figured out, 3) PSU might want to rethink the whole “white out” idea, since it’s not a guarantee and may add more pressure, 4) If you decide to go to the “white out” in a costume, be prepared to look like an idiot on national tv….

Rolling right along, number 6 Cal got absolutely worked by the Oregon Knights. As one Cal fan said to me on Saturday- “looks like we started our late season collapse a bit early… you know, to get it out of the way.” Good thinking, that. What’s ironic is that for once, the Ducks didn’t have the ugliest uniforms in the Pacific Northwet. Perhaps they should stick with the classic look; and perhaps the Seahawks should fire whoever came up with those monstrosities. Fire them with real fire.

Number seven LSU needed a late game goal-line stand to hold off Mississippi State, and number 8 Boise State cruised. Number nine Miami dropped an ACC tilt against Virginia Tech- I guess discussions of their resurgence were a bit premature, no? Number ten was idle, and we’ve covered number 11 VaTach. U$C took vengeance on all things Washington by pounding the ‘Cougs. We’ll get to lucky number 13 in a bit- fourteenth ranked Cincinnati and fifteenth ranked TCU both squeaked by their unranked opponents. Number sixteen TBPU destroyed the school of one of my favorite coaches, while Houston earned their number seventeen ranking with a win over Texas Tech (great coaching hire). Elsewheres in the top 25, Georgia held off unranked Arizona State in Tempe and North Carolina fell to Georgia Tech. Florida State… well, they’re Florida State.

Other “interesting” games- Notre Ame needed to rally to beat Purdue (!), Washington proved that it couldn’t keep the momentum going by dropping to Stanford, and Mich1gAAn needed some serious home cooking from the officials to ensure a victory over Indiana.

You read that right, the Hoosiers almost beat TTUN in Ann Arbor. I really hope their QB can hold up until November.

Soo… let’s talk a bit about the number 300. Saturday marked the three hundreth consecutive sell out at Nebraska, a feat that dates back to 1962. That’s a ton of games, as the Sullivans can attest. The Huskers/Bugeaters celebrated with cool throwback uniforms and by beating the andouille out of the Ragin Cajuns of Louisiana Lafayette. Best quote about the streak? “Congratulations, Nebraska fans, for preserving the lone streak Steve Pederson and Bill Callahan couldn’t destroy” Here’s to 300 more, Husker fans.

But that wasn’t the only 300 on Saturday- Ohio State’s Jim Tressel marked his 300th game as the Buckeyes squared off against the Fighting (kinda’) Zooks of Illinois, in the battle for the ugly turtle. Tressel entered the game 220-77-2 and left the game 221-77-2, after #13 Ohio State handed a 30-0 (300?) beating to the Illini. It was a game that saw a bit of everything- a tribute to Woody (0 passing yards in the first half), going for it on fourth and goal (late in the game, too…), and defensive lineman Doug Worthington attempting to fly. Major kudos for anyone who can send me video of the leap of doom. UPDATE- BuckeyeSki from Eleven Warriors with the assist! Thanks man-

Obscure Schools update: Tuskegee was triumphant in the Gateway Classic, while Wartburg easily handled Loras at home.

Coming this week: Conference games continue, as LSU and Georgia kick off the SEC in earnest. Cal tries to rebound against U$C, and Indiana hosts the Buckeyes. The first annual “nicknames that make me giggle” game as Mich1gAAn and MAChigan State square off.

“It’s Ty Willingham’s Fault”- Washington travels to Notre Ame. War Tiger rolls into Rocky Top, and OU heads to the sunny beaches of Miami. Illinois hosts Penn State, Nebraska is off, and TCU welcomes SMU.

And here’s a friendly video from the Mich1gAAn Department of Tourism:

Back Thursday with a visit from June Cleaver’s favorite neighbor.

The Week That Were: 9.19.09

Written September 21st, 2009 by MaliBuckeye

previously on TWTW…

Here’s the soundtrack for today’s journey in the past. And no, unlike some people, it’s not really Journey.

Arrr, yesterday’s games fell on the national holiday o’ “Talk Like a Pirate Day“. Should we be surprised, then, that the upset o’ the day happened at a place whar people show up in boats? Ahoy, and it warn’t the team that we expected t’ see success.  In Piratey news, East Carolina lost to North Carolina. Great Neptune’s mandibles!!

Ok, that’s enough.

But, like TLAPD, the U$C choke to an unranked conference team should become a national holiday, since it happens more frequently than leap year. And given that 5 of the last 6 of these losses have come on the road in the Northwet, there must be something more significant going on. Perhaps the Curse of DB Cooper or something.

Nevertheless, the Trojan Tragedy has sent ripples throughout the college football world. In Los Angeles, fingers are pointing at Surfer Pete, asking again why the coach is unable to keep his team focused. Granted, the starting QB and safety were banged up, but given U$C’s deep pockets of five star talent you’d think they’d be able to beat a team that was 1-15 in their last sixteen games. A team of young men recruited by Ty Willingham. Hmmm… where have we heard that before?

While a post game let-down is to be expected, it didn’t hamper Ohio State who headed to Cleveland and shut out the #5 team in NCAA offense. Toledo, fresh off of their clown stomping of Colorado, was held to 210 total yards and 13 yards rushing. Ohio State’s rebound included 370 yards of offense from “Lebron in Cleats”. Mich1gAAn fans? That’s how you beat Toledo.

To celebrate the “Mistake by the Lake” and the Ohio State recovery, the AP poll decided to drop USC from 3 to 12, and bump tOSU from 11 to… 13. The Buckeyes were jumped by Chokelahoma, who took care of Tulsa on Saturday. However, the team that handed OU their loss got pummeled at home; BYU lost 54-28 to Free Shoes University. And yet, the Sooners didn’t suffer due to the loss of the team that beat them… This, among other things, is the reason that we need to do away with polls until October. But you knew this already.

Around the mid-west, Mich1gAAn managed to cruise against a directional school after struggling in the first half. Notre Ame was the beneficiary of back to back boneheaded decisions by MAChigan State’s sophomore QB, first overthrowing a wide open receiver in the end zone, then sealing the game with an interception at or near the endzone. Penn State continued their “Hosting Hostess” tour, although they did allow Temple to score on their vaunted defense.

SEC action witnessed Auburn holding off the weather and WVa (rats- a burning couch goes great with rain), Arkansas falling to Georgia in a shootout, Calipari’s scandal defeating Pitino’s scandal, and Florida eventually getting around to beating Tennessee in the “our orange is uglier than yours” festival. MSU beat Vandy (really?), and LSU squashed some other team from Cajunland. Old Miss and Alabama combined for 105 points in their wins.

The Huskers lost a well fought road game against a very good Hokie team in the final minutes. True conversation between my beloved and I: Her- “Wow, it’s such a tough loss when you’re winning the whole game and then it falls apart in the last seconds”. Me- “I wouldn’t know what that was like at all.”

Other Big 12 action: Rice couldn’t stick to TBPU, Kansas State blew their one chance to shine in the Rose Bowl, Colorado won while Baylor fell to UConn, Rock Chalk pounded the Cameron Crazies, and the Pirate Cap’n missed out on an opportunity to do Blackbeard proud.

On the Left Coast, toOSU played football from Ohio with predictable results, Washington State won (I know, right?), and Oregon unveiled yet another hideous ensemble in their upset of the Utes. Cal’s Jahvid Best looked to be just that against a chippy Minnesota Team opening their new stadium. Arizona evened the “Big T1e1n Pac Ten challenge” at one each by falling to Iowa.

Elsewheres- TCU continues to roll, Syracuse beat Northwestern in this week’s “They have football teams?” bowl, and Pepperdine remains undefeated. Oh, and this has to be the worst idea of the week- UCF planned a tribute for the African American members of Buffalo’s 1958 team, who rejected a bid to the Tangerine Bowl because their darker hued teammates weren’t allowed to play. Coincidentally, UCF also scheduled a “White Out” for that date, and asked their fans to come dressed in all white. Good thinking.

Small schools update: Bacone got fried by Howard Payne, 56-7.

This week’s games include an  Ohio State/Illinois matchup that will prove how much Ron Zook can screw up his team if given a buy week, and an important Kentucky/Florida clash, if the Gators are healthy enough to show up. Maybe St. Tebow can heal them… although, I’m not sure I’d trust his medical experience. Mich1gAAn hosts Indiana, and Kansas welcomes Bret Favrere’s alma mater. Cal and Oregon square off, Nebraska gets whatever’s left from LSU’s blowout, and the marquee game is Miami and Va Tech in a Big lEast showdown. Texas plays UTEP, TBPU welcomes Eddie Robinson’s school, and TCU travels to Clemson. Washington faces off against Stanford, while the Cougs get to be the rebound team for U$C. Notre Ame has to face a Purdon’t team that just lost to a MAC team… That’s not going to end well.

And now, some inspiration for those underachievers in Block O:

High school students. Just sayin’.

UPDATE – Please read this post c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y…it discusses the educational systems of each state, and how well the states educate (or don’t educate) their young minds.  It has deep meaning that could possibly explain the stupid, inbred minds which are unable to comprehend simple matters (in other words, southerners).  If you are a fan of the SEC, have somebody read it to you.  Big words are tough.


Going slightly off-topic, but then again, it’s pretty much right on key with The BBC.

This morning, the United States Chamber of Commerce released their findings on the effectiveness of education in each of our glorious states.  They graded each state on several topics related to the respective states’ educational system.

Buckeye fans, show some pride….our state got a “B”.  As for the rest of the country, let’s go to the chart;

Click on the image for a larger view.

Now, how did the Big Ten states do in comparison to states which hold SEC schools???


Minnesota – Minnesota (Big Ten)


Ohio – Ohio State (Big Ten)

Iowa – Iowa (Big Ten)

Wisconsin – Wisconsin (Big Ten)

Pennsylvania – Penn State (Big Ten)


Illinois – Illinois (Big Ten)

Illinois – Northwestern (Big Ten)

Indiana – Indiana (Big Ten)

Indiana – Purdue (Big Ten)

Michigan – Michigan State (Big Ten)

Michigan – Michigan (Big Ten)


Kentucky – Kentucky (SEC)

Tennessee – Tennessee (SEC)

Tennessee – Vanderbilt (SEC)

South Carolina – South Carolina (SEC)

Georgia – Georgia (SEC)

Florida – Florida (SEC)

Arkansas – Arkansas (SEC)


Louisiana – LSU (SEC)

Mississippi – Mississippi State (SEC)

Mississippi – Ole Miss (SEC)

Alabama – Alabama (SEC)

Alabama – Auburn (SEC)

No further comment is necessary at this point, is it???

OK, one more comment, if you have a friend who is a fan of the SEC, please send this to them.  But when you send it to them, do one of the following.

  • A) Call them after you send it to them, so you can read the bigger words to them and they’ll understand it better
  • B) Send it to them through the link called “Redneck Translator” so it’s written in their native language

Yes, I believe we now have scientific proof that the SEC is indeed filled with southern inbred morons who can’t read or write up to the speed of an average American citizen.  The United States Chamber Of Commerce has given us that proof.

Why Ohio State will win the Fiesta Bowl

Written January 4th, 2009 by Jeff

OK, so we’ve all seen the “teh Big Ten suuuucks” comments all over the place, and we know that nobody outside of this glorious state isn’t giving the Buckeyes a chance in hell tomorrow night.  But let’s take a step back from the bash-fest and discuss what I think will happen in Arizona.

Ohio State will win tomorrow night’s Fiesta Bowl.

Here’s why;

1) Ohio State is unbeaten in bowl games against the Big 12

I’ll bet you didn’t know that.  Everyone’s too busy reminding us that we’re 0-for the SEC and lost two bowls in a row.  But we are a perfect 5-0 against the Big 12 in bowls, knocking off top 10 schools twice in the last 10 years.

2) Ohio State is awesome in the Fiesta Bowl

- The Fiesta Bowl is where we beat Miami to win the title after the 2002 season.

- The Fiesta Bowl is where we beat Kansas State after the 2003 season

- The Fiesta Bowl is where we beat Notre Dame after the 2005 season

And before anybody says anything about the Florida game, that wasn’t the Fiesta Bowl, it was the BCS National Championship game.  Boise State beat Oklahoma in the Fiesta that year, we just played in the same stadium a week later.

3) The Big 12 does not know how to stop a power running game

The stats of Big 12 schools are loaded with high-powered passing games, and as a result the defenses are built to stop the pass.  They (Texas especially) are not set up for success against the run.  In what should be Beanie Wells’ final game as a Buckeye, expect him to put out a bruising performance.  Also, expect them to keep handing him the ball, unlike his last two bowl games when we abandoned the run for some reason.

4) The Big 12 is showing their weaknesses when playing other conferences

The facts are right there….the Big 12 may have been the most overrated conference this year, based on how crappy they look outside of their comfort zone.

  • #7 Texas Tech was outraged when they got shafter from a BCS bowl.  Then they flat out looked like warm piss against a middle-of-the-road SEC school, losing the Ole Freaking Miss by 2 TDs
  • #13 Oklahoma State got spanked in harsh form, surrendering 35 points in the second half to Oregon.  Oregon had allowed 111 points in their previous 3 games, setting up the potential for an offensive team to crush them….Okie State failed miserably at that chance.  But their coach is still a MAN!
  • #21 Missouri had Jesus Christ at QB, and Mary and Joseph in the stands praying, and they needed OT to beat a school that had only won one bowl game in the history of man.
  • Nebraska squeaked by a really bad ACC team.  Seriously, Clemson was the 8th-best team in a horrific conference, and the Huskers nearly lost to them.
  • Kansas put up the only worthwhile performance (so far), doubling up on Minnesota 42-21.  But then again, Minnesota fell apart this year, losing by 55 points in their final game.

It’s also worth pointing out that EVERY Big 12 school was favored, sometimes heavily, and played poorly time and time again.  This all bodes well for the Buckeyes, who might be facing the 2nd-best team in a conference overrated all year.

And if Ohio State puts the beating on Texas, the Big 12 should be terrified. And you should go put the house on Florida against Oklahoma.

5) The Big Ten has had the deck stacked against them this bowl season

When Ohio State was selected to play in the Fiesta Bowl, it slid every other team in the conference up a notch.  For example, the 4th-best team in the conference was now playing in the #3 team’s bowl slot.  This led to almost all of our teams playing against teams that were better than they are.

Had the Buckeyes stayed in their “#2 Big Ten team” slot, the bowl matchups would have been more in line.  Here’s what we would have seen….

  • Penn State vs. USC – same result
  • Ohio State vs. Georgia – the Bucks beat Sparty by 30+ points and Georgia struggled with them…Ohio State wins this one
  • Michigan State vs. Missouri – Mizzou just looked awful against NW, and MSU has a better defense (plus a more formidable running game).
  • Northwestern vs. South Carolina – NW walks away a winner.  I’m still not sure SC even deserved a bowl game
  • Iowa vs. Kansas – No way, no how a Kansas defense slows down Greene
  • Minnesota vs. Florida State – I’m still going to say Bowden rolls
  • Wisconsin vs ??? – Surely Wisky would HAVE to fare better….right?

As you can see, the success that Ohio State had ultimately led to the overmatching of the rest of the conference.  We would have likely gone 5-2 or 4-3 instead of the maximum two-win bowl season.

Will all this be enough to knock down a Texas team that feels slighted by the BCS system?


Ohio State 27
Texas 24